Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
