what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I can't turn off my feet"
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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