Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
lol hangovers are for mortals.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
