I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
