We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
