Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
