i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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