I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
