Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
