I don't think brook has ever known best
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
