Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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