He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
