thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
