'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
