Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
