matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
