Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I am available for nakedness
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
how does that bad decision feel?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
