i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
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