i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
