I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
