I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
