this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
