Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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