Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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