I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
