i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
OPIZZABONMYDICK
My breasts were aching with rage.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
