Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
