Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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