We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
