Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
being pregnant is like rehab
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Randomize
