We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You're like the curious george of whores
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
