PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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