I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
