Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
