I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
