She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
