Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
