We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize