Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Randomize
