if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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