All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
