but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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