Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
