You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
