If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
