Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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