Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
