that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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