So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
