So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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