Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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