I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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