You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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