I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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