So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
