In the future we'll all be gay
its not stalking. its research.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
