Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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