I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
