yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
