I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
