tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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