I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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