i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
