i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
