so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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