OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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